I stare myself at the mirror, my mind suddenly drag me into the cavern of memories that it had created from my prior years.

Where am i ? I quickly try to adjust where my brain gonna leads me too. And i realized i was in the days where i was determined to live my freedom that i sought through  how i wear, how i want to look like, where i want to go to, who i am going out with ?

"Clean.Clean". And just like that my mind brings me back to the present. My past it seems and i didn't even realized it. Spooky

How did i ended up myself in this mess ? With a pinch of regret. I guess partly due to my fault being so open and proud of my liberal lifestyle. Even tho it's not too contra to the norm of the conservative Malaysian Muslim society.

I don't know why, but i was mixed with hatred and love at the same time. When i am not deluged by the hatred towards myself. I would try to get back to my roots. But it's too perilous task for me to do.

What a trouble soul i was. I guess this is the freedom i choose before, and i got the freedom i sought. I just can't write down my whole stories. What i'd done in my past but truly i wanted to share a lesson that i have learn to all the women out there.